From Busyness to Purpose: Realigning My Home & Life in a New Chapter

Embracing a new direction!

Beyond Clutter : Rethinking What Takes Up Space

What is clutter?

Is it simply owning too many things or is it as Merriam-Webster defines, “a crowded or confused mass of collection.” 

The idea of ‘owning too many things’ could also be viewed as ‘abundance’. When does it then turn from abundance to clutter to hoarding?

I wonder if I am meaning to talk about ‘clutter’. It's interesting that I'm finding myself thinking not just about ‘stuff’ and ‘clutter’ but about how to wisely utilise my limited time in this current season of life. As I eagerly embrace  new responsibilities and hobbies, I'm noticing that effectively managing everything around me is becoming a key part of how I make space for what truly matters. This journey is about moving from busyness to purpose, allowing me to realign my home and my life to include and reflect my deepest values and priorities.

The Earlier Season: Learning and Accumulating

 I believe  I found my rhythm slowly but surely, in the last season of life.

It began with facing completely new challenges than during my student/single working  days. It became about  raising a little one with my husband, while building a cozy home, then continuing to do it only this time, in a brand new country, all while navigating a new language. I poured myself into soaking up the new culture—diving into delicious recipes, finding fresh ways to decorate, and even getting my hands dirty with seasonal gardening. It was a beautiful, full chapter and as I look back now, I realize how much I cherish it.

Learning to be an adult

That chapter truly was buzzing with purpose! There was this wonderful urgency towards every goal, always pushing me to find a better, more skillful way of doing things. Take managing our home, for instance, I dove deep into learning all the ins and outs of "home" and "life" portfolios—from cleaning tips to cooking efficiently, all the while trying to stick to a budget and figuring out how to responsibly handle money.

 I was not  one of those magical genies who could just blink a messy space into instantly organised with a calm glance.

It turns out, I was not  one of those magical genies who could just blink at a chaotic room and poof—everything was colour-coded, labeled, and practically 'sparkling with joy'. My brain didn't naturally come with a built-in ‘Marie Kondo’ program and I certainly didn't have that natural talent for making a messy space into instantly organised with a calm glance.

Hours of correcting mistakes and learning from books & 'Youtube'

My way of working was a far cry from this! Learning the different skills of ‘adulting’ was not easy for me, for it did not come naturally. It took rigorous hours of making mistakes, learning from them, correcting myself, finding new ways, reading about them and watching countless vlogs and numerous hours on ‘Youtube’ to begin to understand that there exists a method in this madness.

The thrilling game of chasing sales

If this sounded completely mad, I didn't stop there; I had the method and the madness extending  to a thrilling game of chasing sales. It was a whole adventure in itself! First, I'd always have a wish list, setting in motion a delightful quest for something I truly desired. Then came the excitement of checking prices, forecasting discounts, and patiently waiting. When that predicted discounted price finally matched, the purchase brought an utterly unique joy, far beyond simply buying it at full price. Sure, buying these items at full price anytime was always an option, but that would've been far too straightforward for my ‘particular approach!’ 

And so, piece by piece – whether it was a cherished item of clothing, a cozy piece of furniture, a useful utensil, or a clever kitchen gadget – our home slowly filled up. Each acquisition made life more comfortable, fun, and often, more efficient. Every single one carried its own story, not just of how it was acquired, but of the wonderful memories our family created with it. I genuinely embraced these processes of learning to "adult," building skills, becoming more efficient, and cultivating a comfortable life, along with collecting all the things that grew with us. It truly felt like an exciting part of our life's journey, giving me such a strong sense of abundance!

The New Season: Shifting Focus and New Rhythms

As life has gracefully ushered me into this new season, I'm finding my perspective shifting. This chapter invites me to be more intentional, more mindful and calm, to explore my creativity, travel, and spend more time with my husband—my willing and loving partner throughout the life we've built together. Yet, as I step into these aspirations, I'm gently realising that habits from an earlier season sometimes nudge their way into this fresh space.

A new season & a new rhythm - the relentless pace beautifully softened

With this new season, a different rhythm is emerging. It no longer involves the constant care of a little one or the intricate dance with a growing teenager. Those immediate, consuming responsibilities have eased, opening up space for new considerations. Now, the challenges seem to center on truly honouring ' I '—paying attention to the quality of my time, not just by goals or accolades, but by the thoughts and emotions it brings and the behaviours it quietly inspires within me. That familiar 'drive' still pulses within me, yet its relentless pace has beautifully softened, leading me along a more intentional path.

The Penny Drops

In the midst of this shift, I find that all the objects I've accumulated around me often capture my attention, sometimes drawing me back to the memories they hold. Of course, there are some items I deeply cherish. Yet, there are also those that no longer feel quite relevant to my life now.

I realize that I continue to adhere to all my daily routines—organising, arranging, cleaning and  tidying up. Some time ago, it dawned on me that these routines, which I once enjoyed and looked forward to, weren't bringing me as much pleasure. It was like a smoker realising the act itself no longer offered anything, having simply become another part of their routine. This realisation was soon joined by a pivotal question: "Is this house truly working for me, or am I working for this house?" In a sense, I was beginning to feel like that smoker, on the brink of letting go of a long-held habit.

New season : Is all of this truly necessary?

Then one day amidst all this pondering, the penny truly dropped. Standing in front of my closet, carrying on with the usual routine of organising and tidying up, I asked myself: Is all of this truly necessary? Does it represent my past memories and narratives, or does it genuinely pertain to the present? This particular question, arriving after weeks of reflection, sparked a new realisation: all the routines I now follow were ones I created for myself in a different season of life. They definitely served that earlier season well, but they fall short for this current chapter. This season isn't about rushing to school, music lessons or basketball drop-offs. Instead, it's about what I urgently need to prioritise in my life, and what I desire to focus my energy on.

This recognition  led me into deeper reflection, while fighting back self-critical thoughts that occasionally surfaced—whispers that I'd lost my way, or was doing something fundamentally wrong, or that all those years of effort might have been in vain. Amidst this internal questioning, I also seemed to be aimlessly carrying on with my routines, managing all the things I had accumulated over the years.

Was my life becoming just a set of routines, solely dedicated to managing all that I'd gathered? Constantly tidying up, perpetually organising? Where was the intentionality that had once guided the routines I'd meticulously set up so long ago?  Has it all shifted to autopilot? Did the very experience and efficiency I gained in my younger days lead me to this automatic mode of functioning? But then, was autopilot  truly so bad in this context. When it came to the usual daily mundane chores, wouldn't autopilot actually help me get through them faster, freeing up time and energy for something creative or more relaxing? And wouldn't life, then, actually feel more meaningful and richer? So, why was my whole day still consumed by tidying up and organising random stuff, despite its sentimental value, and yet I still wasn't truly feeling it?

A lot of the objects collected over the years held the essence of past experiences and emotions. I realised that by spending my time keeping those routines alive, I was also not making space for the newer things that were becoming important and urgent in my life right now.

Are these things simply an emotional habit from the past that I'm trying to keep alive? Or are they truly treasured keepsakes? Would it not be possible to keep a chosen few of them as a reminder of past precious moments? 

Manifesting what I truly desire

Do I need a plethora of things, and the lifestyle required to match them? I was realising that these items, instead of serving and nurturing me, were demanding my daily care and attention. 

My focus wasn't on minimalism as an end in itself—though it could offer a solution to some—but on ensuring my past experiences and their meaning didn't become 'clutter' I constantly had to manage.

 I find myself navigating the space between minimalism, abundance, clutter, and hoarding—a search for a personal equilibrium and a sense of calm. 

My Evolving clarity

And so, as I navigate this new season and its rhythm, I'm beginning to understand that  clarity is a dynamic process. When approached consciously and mindfully, it becomes a continuous, fluid relationship with our time, our priorities, and everything that surrounds us, supporting us in the daily process of living and simply 'being’.

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Clarity is a dynamic process.

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Tips for Your Own Journey

Realign from Busyness to Purpose

As you reflect on your own seasons of life and your relationship with your belongings and time, here are a few tips to guide your path:

• Recognise Your Current Season: Take a moment to truly understand what chapter of life you're in right now. What are its unique demands, its new freedoms, and its emerging desires? This clarity is the first step in aligning your home and habits with where you are today.

• Listen to Your Instincts: Just like the feeling of a habit no longer serving you, pay attention to those quiet nudges that suggest a change is needed. Your intuition is a powerful guide.

• Define Your 'Urgent Basket': Clearly identify what truly matters to you in this season of your life. What new responsibilities, creative pursuits, or relationships deserve your prioritised time and energy?

• Question Your Routines: Take a gentle look at your daily habits, especially those around home management. Are they still serving your current goals and bringing you joy, or have some slipped into autopilot without purpose?

• Reimagine Your Relationship with 'Things': Consider whether your possessions are truly enriching your life and supporting your aspirations, or if the effort to manage them is outweighing the value they bring. Remember, it's not about strict minimalism, but about finding your personal balance.

• Embrace the Evolution: Understand that your needs and priorities will naturally shift over time. Be kind to yourself as you navigate these transitions, allowing your approach to your home and life to evolve right along with you.